Friday, February 28, 2014

Just airing some frustrations....

So today's post isn't all jolly and upbeat as the previous ones have been.  This post is mainly to get things off my chest.  My frustrations, my envies, my agenda.  See, all these things I KNOW God has under control, but sometimes I start to go to the other side and start to take them back into my own hands.  Sometimes I struggle with this daily!  Today I am struggling with our Social Worker.  She is an extremely nice woman and we are glad she has done all that she has.... up until this point.  Without going into the depressing details, we have been at this stage for over a month!  We were hoping to be Homestudy Complete by the end of February!  Well, today is that day and no report has been completed. 

We got an email update from our agency (whom we LOVE by the way!) and they send out timelines on other families.  My first mistake was reading this email, but the excitement got the better of me.  One family (ONLY ONE!) started and ended their process in 11 months.  That's right, 11 months!  Most are taking up to 2 years.  Well, little Miss Competitive here, wanted that same time frame and that is not the time frame God has for our family.  I let my agenda get in the way and my emotions came to an explosion today when I found out not even all our interviews have been conducted!  Sigh! 

I was quickly reminded of Ecclesiastes 3 where God states there is a time for everything.  God knows the exact date that my kids in Haiti will indeed become mine.  Yes, I am anxious.  Yes, we are doing everything we can to speed up this process.  Yes, I am worried about their well-being until I can get them into my own arms.  But all this does nothing to help my kids get home faster.  In Ecc. 3, I am reminded that God already knows all this timing-business.  Even if the Social Worker takes longer than what we think she should.  I am thankful for a God that is Omniscient.  I am thankful for a God that knows my worries and anxieties and puts people into contact with me that reminds me of that.  I am thankful for His Word that I can have at my fingertips to know all these things about Him. 

So instead of being all mopey, depressed, and anxious - I am going to try to salvage my day and look at the fact that I serve a God who is Omniscient! 

Monday, February 3, 2014


So to keep everyone updated on the latest happenings. 
We had our first Homestudy visit on Sunday morning - early!  But our social worker was really nice and we felt comfortable with her from the beginning!  God is good! 
We sat down and talked for a little less than an hour.  Questions like,
   "What do you children think about adopting?"
   "Is your extended family and church family supportive in your decision to adopt?"
   "How will the room arrangements be done?"
   "What are your fears and concerns?"
   "What books are you reading to prepare?" 
Some of the questions we were able to answer together as a couple, and some we answered individually.  The children did fabulously well playing upstairs as we answered the questions.  In fact, one question she asked was if they always get along so well?  Uh, well, do we have to answer that one?! 

Then she walked through the house.  This was my most anticipated and anxious time.  As a co-director and co-manager of our house, I was nervous to see if all our hard work was going to measure up.  I felt like I was going to puke, just to be honest!  But, no puke was spewed, so all was spared from that embarrassing moment!  It was about 5 minutes and I was hoping for her to get on her hands and knees to look under beds (usually a scary place in our house!) and open some cabinets to see how organized we were trying to be!  Nope, none of that - so I guess she felt confident that our house was ready for more kiddos! 

The next step is to wait and schedule our individual interviews and then have Grady possibly answer some questions.  We are hoping to schedule that meeting sometime this week.  It will be at a mutual location instead of our house, so the pressure is all off to keep living in a glass house!  Phew - we couldn't pull that off for too long, that's for sure!! 

After we do those interviews, we will wait for her report.  One step closer to completing this long adoption journey, one step closer to knowing them by name like my Lord does, and one step closer to bringing them home to our family! 

These last few weeks I have been rather impatient, to tell the truth!  Our paperwork has been done for 3 weeks and still no call for the Homestudy.  Waiting, and more waiting.  Feeling like we were wasting time that my children could be coming home.  However, in all of this waiting, God has been teaching me that there is a reason for all of this waiting.  God is growing me in so many ways it's impossible to share all of it.  As I look back at what I considered "time wasted" I saw that I wasn't relying on His timing.  I was wanting to take control of it again.  I am constantly reminded that, "He's got this!" 

In my Sunday School class we are studying James.  As we were reading through some verses, a particular couple of verses caught my eye and made me stop right in my tracks.  Now, I've read these verses before, in fact they are even underlined in my Bible, however, they took a new meaning when I read them yesterday. 

James 4:7-8 - Submit yourselves, then, to God.  Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 
Come near to God and he will come near to you. 
I HAVE to give this whole adoption journey over to God.  I was letting the devil start to get a foothold and make me impatient and rather anxious.  I cannot run this show and be in control.  Control is one of my biggest issues that I know God is pruning.  It is not easy, but I know that as He prunes, I will become closer to Him and more like what He wants Jenny Batchelor to be!