Tuesday, April 12, 2016

A New Normal....

I am sitting here drinking a cup of hot cocoa - so different from where I was just a week ago.  I was sitting in a Haitian airport with sweat running down my back and face, wondering how I was going to make my legs move forward enough to get me on an airplane to fly out of a country that still held my girls! 

The most common question we get....that is, when I choose to go out into the real world, which quite frankly, I am perfectly content being in confinement in my home.... is "How was your trip?"  The person is usually beaming from ear to ear and expecting an exciting response from me.  Sometimes, I fake it, "Oh, it was good."  Sometimes I respond, "Well....you know..." while cringing inside.  And then other times I just break down, becoming a hot mess feeling like my heart is literally being ripped out all over again.  I know people don't understand.  I certainly didn't before I left!!  And really there is no way to understand unless you have gone through this process. 

We had two wonderful weeks with our daughters.  Most of their personal life I will keep private, because after all, it is their story.  Please don't be offended - that's just how we are going to do things.  There is no manual for how all this goes down, so we are choosing to write our own!!

These two weeks we were to "socialize and bond" with our girls.  We did all that and more.  Our oldest of the two girls (D) was much more aware of what was going on, especially at the end of our time.  She didn't like to see me cry and in fact, came over and wiped my tears away.  She is beautiful, bold and bouncy!!  She is a Batchelor through and through!! 

Our younger girl (W) is a more shy, timid, and charming little girl.  She would hang on our necks like she never wanted to let go.  I am not sure how much she truly understands what is going on - and part of me prefers it that way.  We would explain who the people in the pictures were and she would dutifully repeat their names and we would tell her they were her brothers and sisters, but I'm not sure how much of that she comprehended - it's a lot for a little gal!! 

We are amazed at how God picked these girls out for our family.  They are truly similar to some of their brothers and sisters!!  God has taken care of them thus far and we will continue to rest in the fact that He will take care of them until we can physically bring them home.  There will obviously be bumps along the road, but we are ready to tackle those bumps together as a family. 

The 7 kiddos here did wonderful while we were separated!  Shouts out to my sisters, brothers-in-law and parents who took such good care of them.  I'm not sure most of them wanted to come home!!  We will continue to talk through things with them and help them to understand the process and what's going to happen. 

As of right now, we have no idea when they girls will get to come home.  From what we can tell, it will still be at least a year before all the paperwork, courts, procedures, etc are complete.  While this seems like a daunting time frame - I am resting in the fact that my God I serve is powerful, that He can make this timeline shorter if He desires.  I am completely resting in the fact that His timing is perfect, as it has been thus far - not gonna lie - sometimes I have to remind myself of this every hour!! 

So that leaves us here - in this process of figuring out what our new normal is.  We left parts of our hearts in Haiti but I am glad that I serve a God who is in the business of healing hearts!!  We would love to have your support through prayers.