Friday, May 6, 2016

It's a Friday.....

....and Friday's in our house mean more than just a weekend coming.  It's a day when we start listening for "popcorn".  Ryan and I have assigned our case worker a special tone on our phones when an email comes from her (a genius idea, thank you Apple, inc!)  Mondays and Fridays are when a local representative from our agency goes to the IBESR in Haiti and checks on cases.  So any news that comes through, will be on a Monday or Friday.  Quite frankly, I'm just waking up by Tuesdays so I usually miss Mondays as being a prospective time to hear popcorn.  But Friday.....I don't miss those days!! 

We have been home 4 weeks and 2 days.  While I don't count the days each day - I do after awhile.  Wondering what my girls have been up to.  Is W's cough better, is D still doing well in her French, did they have good days playing with their friends, did they get a hug today from anyone?  These are just a few things I think about so much.  I know they are being cared for in their orphanage, their basic needs are being met - fed, bathed, and clothed.  And yes, this is more than I can say for most orphans in Haiti and for that I am thankful. But understand, these are my daughters and I want so much more for them.  I want D to have a reason to break out in one of her huge smiles that make her big, beautiful eyes squint at the edges like mama's do.  I want W to be able to hang her thin little arms around her daddy's neck and see that look of safety in her eyes.  I want so much for those two little girls, actually, for all the kids in that orphanage.  We came to love all the kids at NPLH and we would take more than the 2 we are matched with if we could. 

God placed us in this journey with another couple whom we haven't even known that long, but I am forever grateful for their friendships.  The husband is a hilarious, fun-loving guy who could always bring a good perspective to the situation.  The wife, well she is a life jacket to me!  We have been checking in with each other since returning home and quite simply, she just gets it.  She described our time right now as living in a tunnel.  It is so accurate.  And without getting too heavy on here about where my head and heart is at - it just describes it to a nutshell.....a tunnel.  Sometimes, I feel like I am going through the motions and trying my hardest to be present, but at times, I just can't.  I try to be the upbeat person I normally am, sometimes I succeed and other times I feel like people can see right through me.  However, even though I'm in my tunnel most days, I know God comes to me there.  I love that - that He will come to where you are at anytime, in any mood, in any shape.  I Peter 5:10 - "In his kindness God called you to share in his eternal glory by means of Christ Jesus.  So after you have suffered a little while, he will restore, support, and strengthen you, and he will place you on a firm foundation." 

Ryan and I had another conversation that I will have to tackle another post, but it started with....
It doesn't stop here....It doesn't stop with just bringing our girls home....God started us on this journey and we have no idea where it is going to take us.  All we know is that God is working on our hearts right now.....and we were shocked to hear that both of us felt pulls towards more - it just isn't clear what that "more" is right now.  Pray for us to hear God's voice in our busy lives, that we can distinguish what God is wanting from us, from our family.  And as always, pray for my daughters in a country far away, but not far from my heart!!