C and I left early, early Wednesday morning on our flight for her to meet her sisters! Silly me, I thought she would go to sleep on one of the plane rides.... yeah right mama!! When we got to the Haitian airport, we met up with my dear sweet friends who are traveling this adoption journey with me! God has provided these ladies for me in a way I never knew I needed! They have been my support, my laughs, my crying buddies, and have definitely covered for me a time or two! Anyways, back to the airport.... I had strict instructions for C when we got off the plane and she did great. It's one of the most stressful parts of the trip! She said later it was a bit overwhelming, but nothing she couldn't handle.
We drove to the crèche, however, were quickly disappointed with the news that we couldn't see them that night. C started to tear up, the mama's started murmuring about how we could catapult over the gate, and one of the dad's showed pictures of previous trips with his girls..... but alas, no gate was opened and we went home disappointed. We have all been down this road for almost 4 years, I guess we could wait another 14 hours..... I guess.....
The next morning we were set to meet C's sisters. I saw D first and her smile melted my heart. We have to wait for the girls to be presented to us, so even though they were close, we had to wait.... more!! Then they finally were released to come over to us. They immediately came and gave me hugs and cautiously looked at C. They knew the face from pictures, but didn't get the name right away.
We went over to the all-familiar mango tree and started playing with our kids. It was incredible the way they remember things we have done together. I try to bring back things that they really enjoyed to trigger memories. I immediately had to explain to them that this was not the pick-up trip (ugh, gut punch!) and that Papa wasn't here because he had to stay home and work, but that we were trying to get all the paperwork done so we could bring them home to their house.
We then got to explain that we would take them to the guesthouse for a couple days to spend the day together. I'm not sure they understood what this meant. When we came back the following day to get them, my girls were very cautious and quiet - taking it all in. When we got to my room, they saw my familiar bags and I think understood what was going on. We got changed and headed to the pool, which, by the way, they claimed they could swim.... pretty sure that was their first time in a pool! Much clawing, grasping, squealing, laughter, and memories were made that first hour in the pool!
The following days flew by - so many firsts for me and my daughters! I got to feed them lunch, bathe them, eat dinner with them, do a partial hair repair, paint with them, help them choose what to wear, take a try at communicating with them all by myself in Creole, take a nap with them laying next to me, and so much more! It was the first time I truly felt like their mama. My youngest, W, called me Mommy almost the whole time we were there..... melt.my.heart! Here are a few more pictures to enjoy!!
W kept asking to call her Papa on the telefon. So we got to face time daddy and the other kids which was a big hit. I had a couple instances where I finally KNEW that they were beginning to understand what was going to happen. I know God had me go on this trip to give me confidence that I could do this mommy-ing thing to them. I know that God had C go with me, to help hold my hand when the tears wouldn't stop. And I know that God had me go on this trip for D and W to continue building trust and bonds. However, just because I knew all of this, doesn't make the leaving any easier. In fact, it was waaaaay more difficult this time. I felt like I got to be their temporary mama, but then had to go home and not be there anymore. Words can't describe the tearing of my heart, but I will continue to go through that pain until my girls come home.
What's the next steps? Well.....
I am hoping to have good news very, very soon - however, I am going to leave a cliff-hanger until I have OFFICIAL news. So stay tuned and keep those prayers coming!! All 11 of our hearts need them!!
